miserable@best.

as the year is coming to a end i thought i would do some blogging.
so i can come back and read what i thought in the year of 2009.
or in the last few weeks of it.
so i thought i would start out with the way im feeling. latley ive been sloggish, moody and quite irritated with people.
im starting to see myself change. example i use to be this girl who wore way to much eye liner and could have her ipod on high and listen to some raging artist screaming into my ear and call that music. i use to think long + teased hair was amazing. and to pierce my whole face would be pretty cool .? well honeslty taste in music has completely changed. i like to fine meaning in the lyrics. thats the thing i love lyrics. i know that sounds weird BUT i like to take a song and cut it up into pieces and just find the meaning in it ?
im a weird child get over it (y)


okay , so we have established that ive changed.
kso next we have people. and honestly im not gonna start. people piss the fuck out of me. and what people dont understand is ive been around many people in my life. ive experienced things that most people never get to go through. so dont lie to my face or act completely fake around me. cause trust me i know it. im really good at reading people. and when i mean good i mean im extremely good at it. but the thing is im tired of confronting people so i shut up. let people be who they want who am i to judge ?

oh kay, next we have my thoughts. if you dont know me very well you probably wont understand this little part. cause either you dont know me very well or i just cant trust you with this part of my life. dont take it serious most people dont know. anyway my thoughts. thoughts for me this past couple of weeks have been like a rollar coaster it makes me emotionally and physically drained. im starting to lose grip. just starting to fall. at this moment i dont think it would be so bad. but its that part of me whos been through this so many times over again telling me to stop. to just tell someone. to let people understand and help. but i dont. im back to where it all started.


so um with the new year i have some new years resolutions (:

some im not posting cause wither they are not important or way to important to let people know.

1) bring my grades higher.
2) start going to the gym more often -_-
3) find a better job (y)
4) have a better year. much better year.

thats a rough copy right now.
immma make sur eto post the final list of things for the new year.
btw. chirstmas is all cookies and junk food. ive probably gained about 1459786291847pounds. no big deal or anything D:

i really should stop eating so much (:
okay, well im off .


ps. immmmmmma be on tevee tomorrow ;)
for my work $: