ingaFUCKINGperogies ( L )

what what ?

new post i know ;)

so my lovely friend inga mentioned that all my blogs are becoming depressing . i told her not much i can do about it but i did tell her i would write a happy blog just about her :) . so here i am about to write a blog about one of my best friends .

ingaFUCKINGperogies ( L )
is one of my best friends . i havent know her as long as i have with my other besties but that just comes to show you that she must mean a lot to me if she can become one of my best friends in such a short time. inga always know how to put a smile on my face happy or not. i tell her a lot . she might not think so but i usually dont tell people much sooooo for me to tell her things about my life tells her that i love her . inga i hope you can read this and puts a smile on your face :) . if inga ever died i might go to funeral ... maybe ;) depends on how im feeling that day ( L ) LMAO .
i love you my dear $: and your perogies ( L )

muchlove. ( L )

a coward .

you wanna know what you are ? a coward . you want nothing to do with me ? well i sure as hell dont want anything to do with you . you leave me crying in my room. with not even a little amount of guilt in the back of your mind . but you never did have a conscience i mean you said you were sorry many times over and over again . but really ? cause it seems to me if you were sorry you would stop doing it to me . i hope you cant sleep tonight . i hope that your dreams are full of thoughts of the past experiences that have left me in my room crying . i hope your thoughts consist of an apology . the only difference this time is i am not willing to accept it. you are not more then a person i have to see everyday. nothing more then a stranger on the street. you have no one to blame but yourself. im tired and im done . go fuck yourself (:

.

aha . fuck.

a good cry .

a good cry would help me. probably do me some good. wouldnt fix my problems but at least i wouldnt be so depressed all the time . i mean walking around putting on a fake smile all the time would be fine i guess. but then you begin to get tired of it and all you want to do is cry. i mean most people think what does she have to cry about ? sometimes i ask myself the same question. but then i begin to think well my life is fucked. people dont see it cause i tend not to let people in. people who know me really dont know me or at least they think they do. but hell i dont even know myself half the time. sometimes im up in everyones face laughing or joking around and then the next minute all i want to do is go home and read. and i mean like for hours. cause when i read its like a fantasy. one that i could never live and its better then lighten up my pipe. ah drugs. what a magical thing. until they stop working and then your screwed. cause you know you have to use something stronger. and you know things from here on are going to get worse. so i stopped. many people asked my why i stopped the smoking & drinking and i usually answer " its bad for you " but honestly it just stopped working for me . the high wasnt there anymore and i knew if i wanted something stronger that i was going to mess up my life even more. i'll never forget that day walking into french class and seeing two people who were my friends not my best friends but just friends and they gave me look of sadness that even on the drugs i could feel i did something wrong. after fourth period i felt like crap and the high became more then nothing. i literally threw away a gram into the garbage and said i would never touch it. i mean i have but it wasnt to get high it was just something to do at the moment. but i begin to think if those two friends of mine could change such a important part in my life where was the people i thought were my best friends the ones who should of been stopping me instead of couraging me ? yea , where were those friends ?

a past lover <3

Well i sleep with you , but you dream of her. and pretend every touch of my hand is hers. you lead me on in the same trip and i can tell by your eyes what you truly feel. i tuck you in after you drink and i take advantage of this opportunity but i lay awake thinking of him. and you just put your hands on me as you have before. i am yours and you are mine. just as we go on pretending tonight we both know this is make believe i don't believe you when you said " i swept you off your feet ". we'll both fake it pretend we'll make it make it as we have with a past lover. close your eyes and drift fast asleep as i pleasure you with my company. my eyes are fake because im staying awake how can i sleep dreaming of him with you next to me? we'll both fake it pretend we'll make it make it as we have with a past lover .


- make believe <3

first blog $:

hello (:
- i'm cassondra . this is my blog spot . this also being my first blog will make it short and sweet $:
im a teenage girl who doesnt mind once in a while going out and sneaking some beers with her friends but im the girl you'll probably find in her room reading about two characters that end up falling in love . its who i am . people dont change me but they sure as hell influence me . i dont judge you unless you give me reason to . i usually never get mad but my parents tend to make me go off the walls . sometimes i feel like im the only one in the world . but what teenager doesnt ?

- yess ... i know i dont use capitals when i write get use to it (:
follow me and i shall follow you ;D