2000000000000000009 (:

LAST POST OF THE YEAR!
whatwhat ?!


tonight is gonna be sooo much fun <3 !
some polish time with the friends ;)
ksoo. see you in the new year : D


lovelovelove.

last quote of the year -
if music was my mistress,
i'd have a reason to sing.
No my darling if music was a man,
you'd just be a fling.

^^
i set my friends on fire (L)

now that shes back in the atmosphere.

as the year of 2009 comes to a close ive made up my mind in what 2010 is gonna be like for me. honestly not gonna lie its more like ive been dreaming of what 2010 will be like. thoughts and day dreaming just throughout the past couple of weeks. but before 2010 comes i decided to tie up all my lose ends.

i was on the phone with a wonderful and best friend of mine, kaylatostee. <3>
and we were talking about ex-boyfriends and i remember what a asshole i was to my last one. like i mean some people are assholes but i was a total up right bitch. so i started texted him. and we talked not much just about the past couple of months. hes moved on. ive moved on. but it made me feel much better to know that he forgave me.

thinking about it. he was nice really nice , oh and shy . which was cute at times. oh and tall <3>
but i wasnt into him as much as i thought.

next. well remember i moved to this off town in the middle of nowhere and everywhere. ive made new friends and lost friends. gained friends and destroyed friends. so ive decided that even though friendship is really important that im not gonna get involved in this stupid little drama. think about it. kids are dying like every minute from hunger and im worried about what some girl said behind my back ? yea, really mature guys. so dont like me , dont talk to me , easy enough.

oh and i have a couple goals to accomplish before the summer. which i will achieve. and im so dead serious about them i starting tomorrow. (y)

kay. well i know it wasnt a deep blog. or anything amusing. but i thought today would be a blog where i just caught up for readers and just for myself. its easier to plan out your life when its in black and white.


lovelove.

christmas review (;

i got lots of money (:<3
& oh yea i gained 4 pounds in the past 2 weeks.
you got to love christmas -_-

hope everyone had a great holiday <3


lovelovelove.

the love you left die.

its funny now to think of you.
i thought you were good & you turned out to be the villian in this pathetic story.
but yet im still here writing of you. and complaining of you. and every sentence of you. and every page of you. every thought of you. oh yea im still madly in love with you.


- notes. a theme for my book. see im a nerd and im kinda of writing a book (:

miserable@best.

as the year is coming to a end i thought i would do some blogging.
so i can come back and read what i thought in the year of 2009.
or in the last few weeks of it.
so i thought i would start out with the way im feeling. latley ive been sloggish, moody and quite irritated with people.
im starting to see myself change. example i use to be this girl who wore way to much eye liner and could have her ipod on high and listen to some raging artist screaming into my ear and call that music. i use to think long + teased hair was amazing. and to pierce my whole face would be pretty cool .? well honeslty taste in music has completely changed. i like to fine meaning in the lyrics. thats the thing i love lyrics. i know that sounds weird BUT i like to take a song and cut it up into pieces and just find the meaning in it ?
im a weird child get over it (y)


okay , so we have established that ive changed.
kso next we have people. and honestly im not gonna start. people piss the fuck out of me. and what people dont understand is ive been around many people in my life. ive experienced things that most people never get to go through. so dont lie to my face or act completely fake around me. cause trust me i know it. im really good at reading people. and when i mean good i mean im extremely good at it. but the thing is im tired of confronting people so i shut up. let people be who they want who am i to judge ?

oh kay, next we have my thoughts. if you dont know me very well you probably wont understand this little part. cause either you dont know me very well or i just cant trust you with this part of my life. dont take it serious most people dont know. anyway my thoughts. thoughts for me this past couple of weeks have been like a rollar coaster it makes me emotionally and physically drained. im starting to lose grip. just starting to fall. at this moment i dont think it would be so bad. but its that part of me whos been through this so many times over again telling me to stop. to just tell someone. to let people understand and help. but i dont. im back to where it all started.


so um with the new year i have some new years resolutions (:

some im not posting cause wither they are not important or way to important to let people know.

1) bring my grades higher.
2) start going to the gym more often -_-
3) find a better job (y)
4) have a better year. much better year.

thats a rough copy right now.
immma make sur eto post the final list of things for the new year.
btw. chirstmas is all cookies and junk food. ive probably gained about 1459786291847pounds. no big deal or anything D:

i really should stop eating so much (:
okay, well im off .


ps. immmmmmma be on tevee tomorrow ;)
for my work $:

lalalala > good mood. (:

i dont want to waste my time ,
i dont want to feel stressed.

^ good song.

so im in a happy mood.
cause i just had two pizza pockets + a piece of cake + pop.
and im sooo gonna regret that tomorrow morning -_-

so um today. was a okay day.
i did a belly dancing class ;)
and honestly i thought i would be pro at that but NO.
i have a lack of a butt and every time i move my boobs they shake -_- ?
anyway, watching the most depressing movie in history class. D:
the pianist. ( L )
and failed my religion test , FML.
how do you fail at your own religion ?
really ? >.<>:]






CHOCOLATE (: ( L )

official.girl

you got to love me in the light and the dark
you gotta give me all your heart
i wanna be your official girl .

- cassie&lil.wayne ( L )

december.

december is gonna be a good month. the snow and the friends. the blankets and the hot chocolate $: december is gonna be a good month with all the skating and skiing. the cookies and presents. december is gonna be a good month with the parties and the kisses underneath the mistletoe. Hand in hand walking through the snow. december is gonna be my month. no worrying about about others conflicts and what people think. if you think your gonna ruin this month for me you have something coming. its december second and many things have already happened. some things that make me smile and well things that could probably send a little school girl to hell $:

go ahead touch me , show me your imperfect too. ( L )



nts. 10