dear;parker,

if i stood in front of you and told you i loved you what would you say? would you say i dont know what im talking about or would you throw me in your arms and whisper back i love you more. would it be another memory to cry about or would it become a classic love story ? would it be a surprise or would it be something you've dreamed about. i'll whisper back while you flaunt around with the new girl of the week. and even though i could wait forever i know that you will never come around. and down the road when your hurt and someone has broken your heart i will not say i told you so. i'll help you and fix the wounds so you can go on and meet others. never knowing what i thought of you. is that something im willing to risk ? tell me arent we all heart breakers , where love has become lust and lust has become nothing more then something different we feel for each other every other day.

oh man,

last time i checked these friends were your friends to the end ?

- a rocket to the moon.

oh man.
what a past month :|
today will be one of those ranting and raving blogs that make me feel oh so much better after (:

lets start with school.
which im not doing so bad in but im not doing great. i should be doing this history homework BUT its boring and stupid so i gave up : D

okay next we have, friends.
where do i start? okay so a couple of my close friends are all i hate you then the next minute i love you ? really ? make up your mind -_-
or either one tries to help one out and the other freaks out and then the other one freaks out and then they all freak out which leads me to freak out so we all have on big freaking freak out party -_-

... oh but dont worry cause then everyone forgives each other and we do the exact same thing a week later. damn teenagers.

oh and by the way um about a month ago me and friend had a little disagreement ? i dont think you could even call that a disagreement. but i think we both are very stubborn. and well we havent talked much in quite a while. i miss her. i use to tell her pretty much everything.

& then theres my friends that i live far from who i start to miss less and less everyday. i guess it good and bad ?

love life ?
dont get me started ?
its kinda of a lack of ?
well i mean there is a couple of guys but i mean they arent what im looking for.
trust me drug dealers are not my type -_-
and yea theres this guy but i havent talked to him in a while , and he likes one of my friends (:

and im very stressed.
im breaking out D:
and im stuck on writing my book :(
OMG . my fave two authors just came out with two new books (:
but too bad i need money >.<
FML.


by the way. i need to start eating healthy . if you dont know me im a fatass (:


anyway. immma leave now and go take a shower & maybe go jog on the spot for like two hours ? XD


- muchlove (L)

one man drinking game.

& it must have been an hour
that i clutched you in my arms
& i must have said the right things
because you instantly felt warm
& you heard my heart stop beating
& you wanted not to cry
as your sympathetic whispers
they told a tale of bad goodbyes.

personal update.

school - boring , average , something to do.

family - annoying.

friends - some childish , some closer , some farther.

love life - lack of.

emotions - unstable.

goals - farther then ever.

life - confusing.


- to receive things you have to work for it , until you cant and then break down. then will you know you have done your best.

you know you can have it.

there is no "ifs"
and no more excuses.
what needs to be done
what has to happen.
it only gets better from here on
so dont stop.
you can see it in the distance.
here comes the sadness.
its going to be hard.
and let me tell you there is going to be times when you want to quit
and cry
and scream
and give up
but dont.
cause then everything that you have worked for is destroyed.
and everything you wanted ,
you cant have,
so dont give up


mind over body.

- you shall conquer over it .